I started this post off as a year in review. In preparation, I looked back through my calendar and '08 blog posts to recall the major events in my life over the past year. Here's a quick snapshot:
- The beginning of the year was off to a frenetic but enjoyable pace with work. I worked on some big tradeshows for the first time, tackled new projects, and traveled to Spain.
- After work got back to normal in March, I tried to get back into shape. Fell off the wagon many times as life got busy.
- As work slowed down, I became somewhat dissatisfied, and was plagued with recurring thoughts of "what do I want to be when I grow up?" This happens a lot. I'm never totally sure if this mild dissatisfaction is part of my personality, or a symptom of my job, or both. I thought about going into landscape architecture and did a bunch of research on it.
- I had a lot of beach days. Those were the best. We had a lot of friends visiting, and I'd cook each time they came, which made the summer really fun. I also discovered a gem of a place, the Guadalupe Valley, in Mexico.
- My boss quit, which opened a tremendous opportunity for me at work, so I decided to stay in marketing, at least for the next year or so, to see how it would pan out.
- At first, the opportunity was awesome. I was finally doing all the things I wanted to do! I felt a promotion coming close.
- Several work projects proved to be incredibly frustrating due mainly to a lack of clarity on roles and responsibilities in my company. Lots of politics, tempers were high. I felt frustrated, overworked, and at times downright angry.
- Work started taking its toll on me. I didn't have time for many of the things I enjoy outside of work - yoga, cooking, exercise. I barely had time to keep the house reasonably clean. Again, late in the year, I started wondering, "is this really what I want to do with my life?" More philosophic struggling.
- I started Project Teeth -- got my bone graft done. It's been a big relief. Target date for dental implants: July/August 2009.
This process of reflection really helped me put some things into perspective. Especially about work. I've really been struggling with figuring out what I want to do -- should I change careers? Just change jobs? I guess a lot of my self-idenitification comes from work, so it really plagues me. I feel like I've been waiting for inspiration or something. I'm worried that my dislike of taking risks could be holding me back from making a big move.
Then I looked back at the year, and thought about the times that made me happy and the times that made me sad. And I realized that it wasn't really my work itself that made me unhappy. The times I've become unhappy are those when I've allowed work to become too important to me.
There are a lot of things at my company that need to change. That's true with every company, but I've never worked at a place where it's more alarming. And it's sad, because there is such incredible potential and intelligence here. I've tried furiously to institute changes, and run into a lot of brick walls and glass ceilings along the way. I also came to the discomforting conclusion that working your butt off does not make people take you more seriously. It does not get you promoted, either.
It's a hard lesson for me. In the last few weeks (while recuperating from surgery), I've had to deal with my difficulty with confrontation. I've had to tell my boss about what needs to change. I've had to ask for things. I've had to push back on tasks that co-workers tried to dump on me. Basically, I have to stop getting walked all over.
This is an ongoing thing, and I'm not sure how it'll turn out. Maybe I'll get promoted, maybe some things will change, maybe they won't. Maybe I'll have to look for a new job. But I've definitely learned a lesson here -- that throwing my life out of whack for my job just isn't worth it.
I want to give 100% to my job. But this giving 120% thing is kinda ridiculous. And I've noticed that the people at the top aren't there because they gave 120%. They're there because they're perceived to be senior, whether or not that's true. Often that comes from setting expectations about what you're worth.
So that was a really long lead-up to my 2009 resolution:
Achieve a better work-life balance.
That's it. I'm just focusing on one. For me, that means:
- Setting expectations at work about what can't be done
- Clarifying my role, responsibilities, and expectations
- Doing all those things I always want to do, and refusing to allow work to get in the way of that
Many of you, especially the women in my neighborhood, must understand where I'm coming from. I've always wanted to be the hard worker, easy to work with, not a bitch, high achiever, blah blah blah. And then one day you realize that instead of getting you ahead, it can actually make people just take you for granted. And instead of helping you achieve your goals, it starts eroding your life. You start short-changing the ones you love in favor of the people who are frustrating you the most! Time to re-think this.
In 2009, I plan to re-acquaint myself with:
- Yoga
- Exercise
- Cooking
- Email-free weekends
And I can't wait to get started. Happy New Year, folks!
It's that time again! I thought it would be good to take a look at 2008, to see where I've progressed, regressed, and lessons learned.
First, I'll start with my '08 resolutions. I had 3:
- Stop interrupting people (ongoing)
- Improve posture (ongoing)
- Fully live in each moment (new). This entails a lot. For instance, when eating, think about the taste of the food as I chew. Enjoy the people I'm with. When I'm listening, really listen, rather than thinking about what to say next. Focus on what I'm doing. Basically, it means not doing one thing while my mind is in another place.
Results:
- Great progress! I feel that I have become much more aware of when I'm about to interrupt someone, and usually I'm able to stop before I do it. I think I've become a better listener. This will always be something I can improve on, but I feel I've reached the point where I can take it off the resolution list. I think there are two things that helped me in this area: first, when people would interrupt me, it would remind me how much I dislike this habit (thanks in a weird way, Mom & Dad!). Second, when people told me to stop interrupting (duh). It may be hard to criticize the people you love, but when my honey said "let me finish" when we were arguing about something, it was ultimately helpful to me.
- Not so great. I'm still a sloucher, and my honey is always straightening my back out. I have become more aware of it when someone's taking a photo of me (how vain) because I saw the way I looked in photos. I even put a "Sit up straight" sign on my computer but by now my brain totally ignores it. Gotta get back on this one. Let me know if any of you have methods for tackling my slouch.
- Good progress, but still needs work. This is a pretty gargantuan ideal, when you think about it.I learned there are certain times when I'm really good at appreciating each moment -- eating good meals, being with my best friends, having stimulating intellectual conversations, traveling, and doing yoga. This realization is an important one, because I realized what triggers me not living in the moment -- which is basically what triggers unhappiness for me. I become bad at living in the moment when I'm overwhelmed with work stress, which unfortunately, has happened a lot this year. I've learned that I need to really manage my work stress better. I'm going to write a whole post on my '09 resolution regarding this, so stay tuned.
Here's something cool that Xerox is doing. Check it out!
Go there, pick out a thank you card, and Xerox will print it and send it to a soldier serving in Iraq. It's free, and quick. You can choose a message or write your own.
I don't support the Iraq war, but I'm supportive of the people doing service for our country. I hope they can come back soon.
Here's something cool that Xerox is doing. Check it out!
Go there, pick out a thank you card, and Xerox will print it and send it to a soldier serving in Iraq. It's free, and quick. You can choose a message or write your own.
I don't support the Iraq war, but I'm supportive of the people doing service for our country. I hope they can come back soon.
What do you see yourself doing on this day next year?
Submitted by Beautifully Broken.
I think that my company will be in a good position this time next year. Maybe I'll be traveling to some of our international offices for meetings... which we had to forego this year due to budget. Anyway, that would be nice! If not, I'll surely be planning for our big tradeshows, CES and Mobile World Congress. I'll also be neck-deep in a holiday promotion for our consumer software. I hope to have another team member by then to help out!
And maybe, just maybe, I'll be planning a wedding.... (crosses fingers). :-)
I love the opportunity for reflection that Thanksgiving affords. To keep this post to a reasonable size, I'll note just some of the things I'm particularly thankful for this year.
My Health
My family has had some major medical issues this year, and I've had some very minor dental issues. Both these things tend to remind me of how lucky I am to be in generally good shape. I ain't fallin' apart yet! My own dental issue (have to get implants) is really costly, but I'm probably luckier than most in the fact that I've saved up enough to be able to afford it. While I don't relish the idea of paying for it, I can do it, and I can do it without going into debt. Thank goodness. I'm really looking forward to next year when my teeth will be all done! I'm also looking forward to Obama's new healthcare plan. I have very high hopes of this country seeing much broader health coverage.
Barack Obama
I don't like to go too poltical on this blog, but I am so happy about this election. I'm also very proud that we have elected our first black president. It really renews my hope.
Job Opportunities
Work is going really well, and I'm now in a position of total freedom. I can strategize, run with any idea I have. Now nothing is holding me back from marketing my company the way I think it should be done. I also have complete freedom around the office - to come and go when I please, work from home when I want. It's pretty.... rad. While there's way too much work and way too little budget (I know everyone says that, but it's really more true for me than ever before), we will prioritize and I think next year will be fantastic.
My Home
I love my little home by the sea. And I love that my friends love it enough to visit us often. It's got a big kitchen, where my girlfriends and I will be baking for our annual "Cookie Day" exchange. (Yes, I know, it's terribly Mrs. Cleaver). It's got a balcony that's perfect for sunset-viewing and a little herb garden. It's pretty much perfect for the honey and me.
Better Times for Family
My mom is climbing out of her depression from my grandma's death a year and a half ago. I feel like she's starting to see the sun again.
Dear Friends, Near & Far
I love my cozy little Vox neighborhood, my distant in geography but close to my heart friendship with Ancora, and all the friends that keep me lauging throughout the year. I'm at a point in my life where I really feel I spend my time with the best people, people that really improve my life.
Well, travel safely everyone, if you're traveling. Happy Thanksgiving!
Everyone here probably knows my favorite Internet application is Pageflakes, a graphical RSS feed aggregator. It enables me to see the top few posts of all my favorite blogs and news sites at once (without having to navigate to the websites). I can also see stock quotes, weather, etc.
I am so dependent on Pageflakes. I keep up with around 35-50 blogs for my job, and a bunch for personal, and Pageflakes enables me to filter out extra information, making it even possible for me to do this.
So imagine my dismay when I go to my Pageflake today and see... an AD... in the upper right corner of every page. And worse, it can't be moved! The whole point of Pageflakes is to filter out this kind of crap!
I am so bitterly disappointed in Pageflakes right now. There are other business models they could use. Heck, I'd even accept the idea of getting a monthly email with ads if I have to. But not on my flakes. I penned a forum post begging them to take the ads off, threatening to leave and tell all my friends! Please, Pageflakes: get rid of the ads.
P.S. Yes, I know what some of you are thinking. Hapa is in marketing so she's the source of this kind of evil-ness. Well, no, that's not true!! Good marketers know that the only kind of web advertising worth its salt is at least contextual, and at best permission-based. This crap ad for a diet drink was definitely not contextual, considering the fact that it appeared on my "Yum yum" foodie page.
UPDATE: After a flurry of customer emails, Pageflakes reacted immediately and took down the ads. The ads will probably come back, but they'll offer the option to move the ad to the bottom of the page, or to pay $24/year for an ad-free version. I can live with that. Flake on.
A couple things that made us laugh.
The following was taken at Xcaret, an eco-amusement park. I'm glad to know the good ol' greased pole is still providing hours of fun!
Here's the pole itself:
Alas, I did not try it. (I really didn't want to wash the grease off the entire front half of my body...)
You know, one thing you notice when visiting other countries is that they're not nearly as lawsuit-happy as we are here in the U.S. (and especially California). So Mexicans don't dumb everything down for you. When you're walking around, you're expected to look where you're going. No need to add unecessary banisters on 3 stories of steps that lead up to a bar.
Or rope off constructions sites, for that matter. Construction sites seemed to be a little, uh, iffy...
Who needs a dust mask?
Let's get to food, shall we? Starting out, I had low expectations. A foodie friend of mine who had been to Playa del Carmen gave me bad food reviews before I left.
Our hotel included dinner and breakfast, so our first dinner was at the hotel. Not so good. When they tried to do European food, it was just baaaad. Not mediocre, bad. Breakfast was really good though, and when they did a Mexican dinner, that was halfway decent.
On 5th street, the main tourist avenue of town, I didn't see a lot of Mexican food. There was French, Italian, American, seafood.... and all at American prices. Pshh. I was craving an authentic taqueria.
I made a point of asking every taxi driver and Mexican Playa del Carmen resident what their favorite taqueria was, and found a common answer: El Fogon.
The honey and I made our way out of the tourist section, down to 30th street, past some abandoned lots, past some residential areas, to El Fogon. It's a little hole in the wall place.
You can smell El Fogon down the street. Their grill is working constantly.
So. Good. I ordered jamaica (a drink made from the hibiscus flower), queso fundido with chorizo (sunken cheese with chorizo sausage - a hot melty bad-for-you-but-oh-so-good dish), and a grilled meat dish tossed with peppers, onions and cheese. Everything was absolutely delicious and fresh. Que rico! I couldn't finish it - my eyes were bigger than my stomach. If I went again, I would definitely order the tacos al pastor; they carve the meat off a spit kind of like a gyro place.
Another notable restaurant was La Cueva del Alux (the cave of the cave gnome). I had heard a few recommendations. The restaurant has a super cool atmosphere, as it is inside a real cave. Here's the honey descending into the entrance:
And here are the stalactites on the ceiling:
The place had a super-friendly waitstaff, Spanish guitar player, and a belly dancer!
The food was continental, and unfortunately, was just kind of mediocre. We ordered steak and lobster, which was just so-so. And pricey. For the same price, I could've gone to a really good steakhouse in the U.S. and gotten a good steak. However, this is one of the rare cases I'd say it was still worth going, just for the ambience. However, if going again, I'd stick to drinks and appetizers.
Here's my grand exit:
The best food we had in Playa del Carmen was at a Mayan restaurant called Yaxche. It was a little touristy, but the food was amazing, and the atmosphere was beautiful. Mayan food is similar to Mexican food, but I think the flavors are a little more complex - so complex I find it hard to describe. This is a culture that knows how to use spice. Sweet, spicy, and smoky flavors all mix together. We had one typical Mayan dish called puerco pibil - pork flavored with sour orange and I think cardamom.
And here's my shrimp dish:
If you're in Playa, Yaxche is a must.
Now, in Cancun, it's uber touristy. So you have two choices: good hotel restaurants (no Mexican food), or crappy American chain restaurants. We started off with dinner at Aioli, the restaurant at Le Meridien. I'd describe it as continental food based on local ingredients. We had a table at the window overlooking the ocean and we were one of two couples there. The prices were reasonable - probably cheaper than Alux, but very fancy cuisine done well.
I ordered fish that was encrusted in salt and baked. Here's my waiter cutting it open for me:
So if you're in Cancun, Le Meridien is worth a visit.
We lunched one day at the Ritz Carlton. They really know food at the Ritz. I had a delicious ceviche made with red snapper, mango, and pineapple.
And we had a pretty nice view, too.
There was probably just one actual Mexican taco place in all of Cancun, which was the Taco Factory. Cheap, good, and surprisingly authentic.
All in all, there's some great food in Playa del Carmen and Cancun, but you've got to look for it.
This underground river was one of the most amazing things I've seen in my life... ranks right up there near El Templo de la Sagrada Familia!
There's still a ton of unexplored jungle all over the Yucatan peninsula. The flora is so thick that you couldn't even try to walk through it. Even with a machete, it would take a long time. Yet every once in a while, someone does explore, and finds a little cenote (a sinkhole) - they are all over the place. The cenotes are these beautiful caves filled with fresh water. It's so clear you can see really deep down.
Rio Secreto was discovered two years ago, by the landowner who was hunting an iguana. He was chasing it through the jungle, when it went into a hole in the ground. He looked down into the hole, and lo and behold, there was some water. He widened the hole, started exploring... and discovered a big underground river. Rio Secreto has been open to public tours for the last five months, so we felt pretty lucky to experience it.
Here we were, on a semi-trecherous jeep ride on our way to the entrance of the underground river:
So, the Yucatan peninsula used to be underwater... it was the sea floor back when Pangea was separating, I guess. It's all limestone, which is pretty brittle, and it collapses a lot, which is how they often find these cenotes.
Here's the honey and I, fully donned in our spelunking gear:
Our route along Rio Secreto was 600 meters long, but they are still exploring the river, so it's probably much longer. The cave has more formations, and more types of formations, than nearly any cave in the world!
It was pretty dark throughout most of the cave, but they added lighting in select spots.
Here I am, squeezing through a narrow passageway in the cave...
The company that runs the tour (AllTourNative), I am happy to say, is very intent on being an ecologically responsible company. They only take small groups through the river, which makes for a better tour anyway. You're not supposed to touch anything inside the cave, because the oils from your skin inhibit the formation of stalactites and stalagmites. I am, however, afraid that even small groups are bound to effect the cave. Anywho, here's our little group staring in amazement at the formations of the cave:
This picture gives you an idea of how totally clear the water is.
Here are a couple of the creatures that find a way to live in the near-total darkness of the cave:
As you can see, tree roots find their way into the cave and ultimately reach water. Eventually, the tree roots sometimes get covered by minerals and form their own stalactites.
Rio Secreto was a spectacularly beautiful and not overly-touristy tour. Our guide, Christian, was really friendly and super-knowledgable about speliology (that is, cave studies) and geology. Plus, he spoke probably 7 languages. You could tell he just loved his job, which made it fun for everyone.
The day in general was the most perfect day of the vacation, and probably one of the best days of my life. After the tour, we had a leisurely afternoon, then went to a really good yoga class held in a palapa in a jungle-like garden right across from our hotel. It was seriously idyllic. The honey and I were the only people in the class, and it was just wonderful and deeply re-centering. Afterwards, we had the best dinner of the trip, too, at a place called Yaxche... more to come on that in the food post.
